Recently, I had the pleasure of catching up with a friend from college. She explained to me that last year she was attempting to have a child on her own. She was explaining this to her brother, when he replied, “In this day and age, why would you do that on your own?” Perhaps he had good intentions, however, I could not help feel insulted for her. My question is, “In this day and age, why would she not do that on her own?”
In recent years, as many of my girlfriends hover in their late 30s to late 40s, I’ve had a handful that have decided to do parenthood on their own. I commend them. No more waiting or wishing for Mr. Right, no more hoping for Prince Charming or a knight in shining armor, no more sacrificing what they really desire for the sake of making another happy. They became a parent on their own, alone, and consciously.
Don’t get me wrong. A fantastic partner would have been ideal. Nobody can deny the fact that it takes a village let alone another human being to help raise a child. However, that opportunity never presented itself to these women at the right place, time, or situation. So, like strong women do in many situations, they decided to go it alone.
Going It Alone.
Posted in cancer, Fertility, grief, Infertility, motherhood, single motherhood
Tagged cancer inspiration, embryo adoption, fertility inspiration, IUI, single woman, single woman cancer, single woman IVF, women cancer community, women empowerment
Maybe you take vitamins. Maybe you do not. Or, perhaps, like myself, you diligently take your multivitamin regiment since you are fully aware you do not eat all the fresh veggies and protein you need daily. Maybe nutritional testing is a good idea.
But here is the question… are you absorbing those nutrients? Are those the right nutrients for your body, genetic make-up, or lifestyle? After all, we are all metabolically unique. How do we know if what is right for me is right for you?
My big shocker came the day I received my own nutrient test results. I had been spending top dollar on a legitimate all-encompassing liquid vitamin. (I should have been clued in when everyone else felt great on it but me. I still felt tired). My test results came back. I was still severely low in most of my B vitamins. The company isolated a genetic factor called MTHFR that explained why my body wasn’t utilizing the B vitamins I was taking. Lesson learned!!! I immediately switched to a form that was bioavailable for my body’s genetic constitution. My energy levels increased. I felt great.
Let’s fast forward two years. I am a cancer “survivor” (I still do not like this label). I know I should not be consuming dairy. But I am eating it; in all forms. I fantasize about yogurt, sour cream, and cheese. A few slices of goat cheese could constitute a meal. “Why?” I wondered. I was never a dairy lover before. Once again, I decided to contact Spectra Cell laboratories to find out what was going on. Were my new multivitamins paying off? Was I missing something?
Grief and loss are accepted in our society when it concerns the death of a loved one. In my opinion the loss of miscarriage is better understood and accepted than it ever was before. However, there is an undeniable grief that occurs when having a child does not happen naturally… or unnaturally for that matter.
I equate this feeling like telling a diabetic they can’t have sweet dessert or a smoker they must quit smoking cigarettes. However the pain is deeper, much deeper. It’s like having your heart set on something, and then having someone say, “just kidding” or “never mind.”
The difficult part of this is the grief is not observable to the laypersons eye. “How could you possibly miss something you never had?” others may ask. However, I disagree with this lack of sentiment. To have this kind of undeniable grief means this longing may have there all along. There comes a certain part in your life when it’s beyond the status quo. This point your life for you really want to show and give your love to something, anything, and hope that it will love you back. The most innate form of this would be a child.
Posted in Acupuncture, cancer, Fertility, grief, Hypnotherapy, Infertility, motherhood, Psychotherapy
Tagged cancer fertility traetments, cancer infertility, fertility psychology, infertility, IVF, miscarriage, pregnancy loss
This summer I have decided turn eating simply into an art. I’ve decided to eat for myself, shop locally at the farmer’s market, and try to listen to my bodies cravings. “Why?” you may ask. Because I wasn’t feeling good, appeared swollen (in all the wrong places) and I had low energy. I found myself eating from a place of social obligation, but still felt hungry. I knew my body must not be getting what it needs. This means that all the fancy cookbooks on my shelf are on a vacation. This summer I’m eating what looks, smells and tastes good to me intuitively.
“Let food be thy medicine and medicine be thy food.”-Hippocrates
Our body needs basic raw materials to provide proper cellular activity for survival. Everyday I watch animals instinctively selecting the fresh buds from trees to eat. Imagine how much cellular energy the are getting from that little sprig or leaf! The deer, rabbits, and squirrels, do not seem to suffer from lethargy, fatigue, brain fog, inflammation, infertility, or emotional eating. They seem (from my unprofessional observation) to feel pretty good.
“Everything is energy and that’s all there is to it. Match the frequency of the reality you want and you cannot help but get that reality. It can be no other way. This is not philosophy. This is physics”.-Albert Einstein
Lately it seems like the subject of words and how we use them has shown up repeatedly in my life. Throughout the past several years I read many books related to the subject. For example; books about water molecules and words, Books like “The Secret” or “You’re a Badass” or anything by Tolle. Recently, I watch Ted Talks on the power of words. My own mentor continues to advise me to be mindful of spelling and my choice of words, and a good friend asked me if I would “talk to a stranger the way I talked my own self inside of my head?” Hmmm. The chatter inside my own brain isn’t always so positive. Interesting, right?
Posted in Acupuncture, Alternative health, cancer, Chronic Illness, Fertility, Hypnotherapy, Infertility, Psychotherapy
Tagged Body, cancer, fertility, hypnotherapy, Mind, PSTD, trauma