Mary Setterholm courtesy latimes.com
Riding out a wave of tragedy is exactly what Mary Setterholm has done. Â Steve Lopez writes a column for the LA Times that I love to read because of his humor, heart and message. Â This story on Sunday, July 19, 2009 grabbed my attention, first because of the compassion. Â Mary’s life story includes years of physical and sexual abuse as a child, leading to prostitution, the process of healing and forgiveness, then creating programs to assist recovering prostitutes and the Surf Bus, a program for inner-city children to go to the beach and learn to surf. Â (I’ve always wanted to learn to surf!) Now she is going back to school for her Masters of Divinity.
The compassion Steve had for Mary was obvious through his description of her being picked up while hitchhiking and happening into prostitution “Setterholm was too damaged and confused to stop their advances, so she built a reality in which by charging them, she established an illusion of control and even normalcy” Â She married and had 5 children very young “before she had learned to take care of herself.”
Sister Sheila McNiff also had compassion for Mary, helping her to “find her way past buried secrets, paralyzing hatred and self loathing.”  McNiff had compassion for Setterholm when she could not have compassion, understanding or even feel like she was OK as herself. Â
Having compassion for others is very powerful, however, we need to start by having compassion for ourselves. Â In another blog I will be talking more about this story and the power of releasing and forgiving yourself.
Dr. Lorri
Tags: Compassion, Mary Setterholm, Steve Lopez, Surfing
